Exhausted after a tough football practice, senior Lucas Blumenthal shuffles up the steps of his house and slowly opens the door. As he steps into the house, the rich smell of Chinese food wafts down the hallway.
His stomach grumbling, Blumenthal walks down the hallway and sees a variety of dishes and platters organized on the counter. He can’t wait to eat.
However, it wasn’t his mom, dad or even younger brother who prepared the traditional Chinese meal sitting on the counter. Rather, it was his grandmother who lives with his family that prepared the delicious meal.
A member of a multi-generational household, Blumenthal has grown up with his grandmother as a constant presence in his home. Right before he was born, she moved into the house with his parents, and has lived with the family since.
The original reason for her moving in was to help Blumenthal’s mom raise him and eventually his younger brother Sammy. Blumenthal’s grandmother stayed with the family when they moved to Dallas as well, continuing to take care of the kids while Blumenthal was entering fifth grade.
“It’s always cool to come home and have a home-cooked meal from your grandma,” Blumenthal said. “When both my parents were at work, or when I was younger or when my parents would go out of town, we wouldn’t have to get a babysitter because my grandma was with us. And she’s always there to give us encouragement when school is hard.”
These home-cooked meals are some of Blumenthal’s favorite memories with his grandmother and are something that he feels many of his friends don’t get to enjoy. The meals, often Chinese food due to his grandmother’s Chinese heritage, are something that unifies his family.
But like conflicts between any close family member, Blumenthal also clashed with his grandmother from time to time, one of which was when Blumenthal wanted a dog. Adamantly opposed to adding the dog to the family, Blumenthal’s grandmother did not want the added responsibility that she would have with a pet. But her opposition did not stop Duke, the new family dog, from joining their family.
“I had been asking for a dog for like five years and I was always told no,” Blumenthal said, “and my grandma was also like ‘I’m not taking care of this dog’. But we finally got one a couple of years ago, and he’s now my grandma’s best friend. They hang out all day together and it’s really cute.”
Many other Marksmen grow up under the same roofs as their grandparents, but for junior John Householder, the relationship was a little different.
“She’s extremely independent,” Householder said. “She’s getting old. She’s got cancer at the moment, but she likes to do everything herself. She makes her own meals. She’s very self sufficient. I get to say hi to her all the time, I get to see her when she comes down to eat, but otherwise, we live our own separate lives.”
Despite Householder’s grandmother leading an independent lifestyle, he still enjoys the connection he has with her.
“It’s not as connected as the traditional multi generational household,” Householder said, “but it’s good to see her every day and talk to her and ask her how her day was, and just continue my relationship with my my grandmother.”
Householder’s grandmother immigrated to America from Vietnam almost half a century ago, and Vietnamese values still guide his family to this day.
“In Vietnamese culture, we are always taught to respect our elders,” Householder said. “So it’s always out of respect and out of love anytime I interact with her. I always keep that in mind. And I think that’s good for anyone, respecting those who are older than you, especially your parents and especially your grandparents who have sacrificed so much. When my grandmother came to the United States, my grandfather actually stayed back to fight for the South Vietnamese, and they didn’t see each other for almost two decades, and she stayed faithful. That was really cool.”
Ultimately, the biggest impact and benefit to both students was the constant presence and wisdom their grandmothers were able to impart to the families. While hanging around in the family room with Duke and his grandmother, Blumenthal has learned many life lessons and has heard tons of anecdotes that impact him greatly. But none more than the simple reminder of the importance of family, something that he feels having his grandmother in the house truly creates.
“The biggest thing that she says is the importance of having like a strong family and being close together,” Blumenthal said. She always organizes big family events with our cousins at my house and being able to be close with my extended family is really cool and it is all because of her.”
