Women Among Boys
As hundreds of Marksmen in their grey shorts and Oxford short-sleeve shirts flood the hallways between classes, Middle School math instructor Lauren Logan corrects loud behavior in the Centennial second-floor lounge.
Just downstairs, through the sound of rolling backpacks rumbling across tiled floors, Victor F. White Master Teaching Chair Dr. GayMarie Vaughan navigates a complex discussion about domestic violence statistics in Dallas County.
Down the hall, removed from the echoes of cheerful hallway banter, Upper School Counselor Dr. Mary Bonsu listens as a student seeks advice about his first serious relationship.
Across campus, beyond the students engaging in rambunctiously competitive Spikeball games on the quad, Chief Financial Officer Suzanne Townsend sits in Nearburg, reviewing budget expenses that will shape the school’s future.
Amongst the boys of 10600 Preston Road, women form an influential minority whose impact extends far beyond their numbers, shaping young men who will soon enter a world where gender diversity isn’t the exception—it’s the expectation.
To those with preconceived notions about an all-boys school, there may be questions about the role of women in campus life. Working within an all-boys environment in the classroom. Adjusting to the unique dynamics of male-dominated discussions. Fostering respect and awareness in conversations around gender roles. Modeling leadership in a space where male authority is often the norm.
Bonsu remembers teaching a health and wellness class about nutrition to freshmen students along with visiting boys and their teacher from a local, independent school in the classroom. The conversation took off, and Bonsu managed the classroom by matching the energy of the boys, filling the air with positivity and excitement.
At the end of the lesson, the visiting teacher made her way up to Bonsu at the front of the room.
I could never teach at an all-boys school.
Her words instantly caught Bonsu off guard. She had grown accustomed to the high levels of energy and engagement of an all-boys classroom setting, bringing every voice into the conversation, answering thought-provoking questions, all while simultaneously managing behavior. For the first time, Bonsu thought of the differences between teaching at a coed school.
Acclimating to an all-boys environment has been natural for Bonsu. Growing up in a family with all brothers, she understood the complexities of teenage boys from an early age. And after two previous professional roles, now here at the school, she feels a newfound sense of comfort.
“I feel like I’m back at home,” Bonsu said.
Like Bonsu, Middle School Humanities Department Chair Danielle Maxfield grew up with brothers, and after 17 years teaching in a coed public school, her transition here has been smooth.
Of the eight department chairs at the school, Maxfield serves as the only female currently in the position after former Fine Arts Department Chair Marian Glorisso-Kirby transitioned into her new role as Head of Lower School. Yet in recent years, many now retired female faculty members served in those roles, like former Stephen M. Seay ‘68 Science Department Chair Stephanie Barta, former Fine Arts Department Chair Jacque Gavin, and former Director of the St. Mark’s Fund Christina Jarke.
According to Director of Inclusion, Diversity and Human Resources Lorre Allen, when looking for new faculty to join the school, they look for the best person in front of the classroom.
“It’s not based on gender,” Allen said. “We send our postings to various recruitment resources. That draws in the applicant pool, and therefore, you get the best qualified person in front of that class.”
Despite the limited number of female department chairs, many other leadership roles on campus, like class sponsors, Master Teaching Chairs and advisors, are served by women.
From 2020-22, Kathy Crow led the Board of Trustees as president. In that time, she worked to improve affordability and access to the school and she started work on the new athletic complex. Crow still serves on the board.
“At St. Mark’s, my role has never been about being a female leader at an all-boys school,” Crow said. “It’s been about being a leader, period. The work of the Board of Trustees is about stewardship, vision and ensuring that the school continues to thrive for generations to come. That responsibility isn’t defined by gender but by a commitment to excellence, ethics and service.”
As a Trustee, Crow always strives to be a reminder that when leadership is rooted in good values and decency—it transcends gender and becomes about impact, integrity, and the willingness to guide others to their best selves. She wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
Like Crow, having directed the school’s finances for the past 22 years, Chief Financial Officer (CFO) Suzanne Townsend has also been a longtime leader of the school. For her, gender has never been an issue as a leader here.
“I can’t imagine being anywhere else,” Townsend said. “It has been such a positive experience for me. (As the first female CFO), I’ve never felt like I was treated in any way other than as an equal.”
For Associate Headmaster John Ashton, the strongest leaders are defined by people with great experience and who bring great expertise to their areas of work. And women are a huge part of that group.
“With that set of criteria, look around campus at who that is,” Ashton said. “There’s a lot of strength here… my colleagues who are women, how strong they are as experts in their field. I’ve learned so much about teaching methods from sitting in meetings with Mrs. Schwartz, Dr. Vaughan and Dr. Brozovich.”
Biology & Life Science Teacher Ryan Brewer consistently has conversations with female faculty members—listening to their personal experiences on campus helps him be open-minded. He’s learned about aspects that he’s never considered, and it’s changed his opinion on the mission of the school.
“I think the purpose of St. Mark’s is to raise men of great character and be great leaders,” Brewer said. “The male experience is different from a woman’s. To be a great leader, you have to understand everyone’s perspective.”
On a campus built for a far larger population of males than females, it can be a lot harder for women to find privacy on campus when it comes to restrooms, showers and lactation rooms.
Logan, who comes to the early morning workouts with Strength & Conditioning Coach Kevin Dilworth, walks laps on the track with School Nurse Julie Doerge to stagger the shower times because of the lack of women’s showers.
It doesn’t help that, while infrequently, some boys use those showers too. Before the showers in Spencer were closed for construction, Logan would often find boy’s toiletries left in the women’s locker room there.
“They just kind of took it over,” Logan said. “And I understand their mindset. They’re like, ‘Oh, there’s no girls on this campus.’ But there are.”
Nursing mothers on campus face a challenge similar to the lack of showers: needing to share the singular lactation room in north wing of the library. The lactation room is a newer addition to campus, and, while it provides a necessary privacy for some mothers, it also brings a new set of challenges.
For Assistant Director of Community Service Isabel Cisneros, having to go to the lactation room every two to three hours wasn’t always convenient. Every time Cisneros wanted to use the lactation room, she would have to make the trek across campus to the library, spend 20 minutes or so, and then come back.
In the classroom, English teachers grapple with books dealing with sensitive subjects— sexual assault, pornography and human trafficking.
Although sometimes it’s awkward for Vaughan to start conversations on these subjects as a woman teaching a bunch of boys, she feels it invites the unique opportunity to impart to her students what it feels like to look at an issue from a different perspective.
However, in the Middle School, Maxfield notes that boys don’t often know how to respond to such difficult topics.
“In an uncomfortable conversation,” Maxfield said, “boys may resort to laughter as a means to alleviate the tension.”
Beyond trying to encourage discussion of women’s rights and struggles in the modern world, through these discussions, Vaughan hopes to inspire a sense of urgency in her male students toward positive change and equality.
“I mean, at least if you look at statistically in Congress, there are more men than women,” Vaughan said. “So men have to be the ones to lead the charge — it’s super important to have these conversations with men who we hope and expect to be future leaders.”
Cisneros has learned on the job how to handle sometimes-uncomfortable reactions in her Spanish IV class.
Teaching Picasso’s painting “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon,” a depiction of five abstractically-drawn naked women, for example can envoke a reaction from a room full of 15-year olds. She expected a couple of muffled giggles and whispers. But after hearing a couple of students whistle at the painting, she was shocked and bothered, not only as an instructor but also as a woman.
“There’s a certain way to react and respect both the topic and the teacher,” Cisneros said. “I told them that we need to be respectful of anything we talk about in the classroom.”
Despite the challenges female instructors encounter dealing with sensitive topics, students, tend to be more vulnerable with women on campus.
Head of Lower School Marion Glorioso-Kirby, notes that in her experience, especially with the youngest of Marksmen, students often sought her advice and that of her female counterparts regarding sensitive subjects.
“That was something that became important to me,” Glorioso-Kirby said. “I think my role is showing boys that you can be the most authentic version of yourself at any time of the day.”
The willingness to be vulnerable develops for students, especially as they mature over their tenure at the school and enter Upper School. Bonsu knows the differences in relationship dynamics between male and female teachers remain.
“If you walk into a room and the teacher’s a man, you’re going to relate to them and interact in a certain way,” Bonsu said. “And you might also be guarded in some ways.”
Among female faculty, Bonsu believes, this guard is lessened, allowing students to be more open in communication about sensitive topics like dating.
“I think we bring that perspective, especially for the adolescent guys, in a way that’s really helpful,” Bonsu said.
Early in her career, Bonsu served as a child physiologist, often working with parents of infants and toddlers. When helping young parents, especially mothers, learn how to teach their young children how to comport themselves, Bonsu recommended putting bass in their voices, presenting themselves in a masculine manner to address misbehavior.
“There is a primal connection to characteristics that are associated with being male,” Bonsu said. “The deep voice, the stern look. Boys respond to that naturally. The lion’s roar is more intimidating than a puppy’s bark, right?”
Even in the classroom setting, J.J. Connolly Master Teaching Chair Nancy Marmion sees this phenomenon manifest.
“When a new teacher comes to St. Mark’s,” Marmion said, “a man walks into the classroom and he has the boys’ respect to lose. When a woman walks into the classroom, she has to earn the boys’ respect.”
Bonsu sees it in the same light.
“I have to demonstrate that I am worthy of their respect,” Bonsu said. “It’s part of the job.”
When AI G. Hill, Jr. ’63 Director of College Counseling Veronica Pulido first started here as a counselor, it was hard for her to establish herself. When she first started, she couldn’t say that she’d already had 23 years of experience working with Marksmen on the college process.
At the time, Pulido thought it was a question mark for the community as to whether or not she would be able to understand boys and help them through the college process.
“It just took time in terms of establishing myself and helping the community understand that I not only know what I’m doing but also care about the students,” Pulido said.
While Bonsu acknowledges the instinctive response boys may have to traditionally masculine authority, she also believes that respect should not be contingent on gender. Boys must learn to recognize the value that female educators bring to the classroom—precisely the benefit of having such teachers at 10600.
“It’s important for boys to see what women are capable of,” Bonsu said.
Cisneros agrees. In fact, that’s part of the reason she pursued taking up the role of Assistant Director of Community Service.
“It’s important for the boys to see me in a leadership position,” Cisneros said, “to see both males and females in those positions, and be aware that they exist.”
In a similar vein, Marmion looks beyond the scope of the school. She understands the importance of young men learning to respect women, especially in a world where women experience more opportunities and professional growth than ever before.
“Seeing a teacher in a leadership role and seeing a woman in that role is something that most men are going to experience at some point in their lives,” Marmion said. “A lot of St. Mark’s students are going to work for a woman at some point. That’s one thing that women teachers bring to St. Mark’s, right? Boys learn how to deal with women in a leadership position.”
Beyond their time here, Bonsu knows that students will attend colleges and enter professional careers surrounded by women just as intelligent and just as capable—a world in which respect is just the first step towards collective success.
“You can’t get away with only respecting the male teachers here,” Bonsu said. “You’re going to interact with a teacher who’s a female that will not let you off the hook without respecting her.”
This female leadership in an environment comprised solely of young boys gives students the chance to learn and develop into competent and caring men.
“I tell the boys, ‘It’s better to make mistakes now than to do it out in the real world,’” Cisneros said. “I want them to have that knowledge and understanding before they get up and graduate and go elsewhere. Because chances are, they’re going to interact with females all the time. We’re working on making those interactions a little bit more natural.”
As one of the most tenured faculty members on campus, Marmion remembers the differences in gender expectations over the decades. Forty years ago, single-income homes were normal; men held the position of both leadership and responsibility. Even on campus, the teaching staff was predominantly male.
“When I came to St. Mark’s, other than the Lower School, there weren’t that many women on the faculty,” Marmion said. “The whole shift in our society has made it easier to be a woman in a boys school.”
Within the bubble surrounding us, it’s easy for students to forget the world outside of 10600.
History & Social Sciences Department Chair David Fisher believes seeing the world through somebody else’s eyes and having such conversations is hugely important to a humanities-based education.
“Being in an all-boys environment, we end up assuming, ‘The world sees the world the way I do because of all the feedback from people who are just like me,’” Fisher said. “You need women to push back so you know there’s another way of looking at things—another way of experiencing reality. You need to hear that from women.”
In a constantly changing society, diverse viewpoints are essential to prepare young men for the complex world awaiting them.
“Womens’ perspectives are so critically important,” Ashton said. “(Without them), they become an absent voice. It’s critically important for any community to thrive.”
