Some kids won’t ever see their grandparents. Maybe because their grandparents have passed away. Maybe because they’re halfway across the globe. For the fortunate kids who can see their grandparents once or twice a year, each visit is exceedingly special.
For a small fraction of kids, those precious moments spent cooking or playing or talking with their grandparents fill each day.
At around 6:30 p.m. on a weekday, sophomore Albert Yan walked to the tennis courts, asking if anyone could give him a ride home. His mother wouldn’t come for another half an hour, he said. While no one could drive him back to his house a solid half hour from the school, this problem never existed a couple years ago.
In the past, Yan lived with his grandparents. His grandfather would drive him to school, to practices and special events. His grandfather’s efforts alleviated a burden on Yan’s parents that could consume hours each day.
Living with his grandparents meant so much more than simplified commutes. Yan’s grandfather loved to take him and his friends to a field to practice soccer. He’d watch Yan play tennis matches. Together, Yan’s grandfather taught him a plethora of skills, tightening their special bond.
“I still have this wooden ship that we built together in my room,” Yan said. “He taught me how to mow the lawn, how to trim the edges of the lawn, how to build things for a project at school.”
Yan’s grandmother helped him to raise chickens, an activity that they shared passionately.
“I remember when they first got them, they’re like little chicks,” Yan said. “My grandma taught me how to pick them up and how to care for them.”
Yan’s grandparents were both teachers. Alongside the physical skills Yan learned, his grandparents, he learned the core values that his grandparents believed in.
“You don’t have to be loud to be heard,” Yan recalled. “(My grandfather) was usually quiet when he talked, everybody would listen.”
As Yan’s grandparents grew older with him, the dynamic in their relationship changed. As a little kid, Yan’s grandparents would provide almost anything he wanted. That kind of leniency faded as he grew up and matured. He never felt an intense pressure, but they expected more from him.
“As I grew older, I found them asking me for help for more things,” Yan said. “When I was younger, I would be the one asking them for help.”
Before Yan’s grandfather passed away a couple years ago, he instilled special memories and lessons into his life. His grandfather drove him across the city, he taught him how to craft with wood, and he watched dozens of soccer practices. Above all, he taught Yan lessons in life that Yan still carries today.
Although he might regret not informing his grandparents about important health skills or teaching concepts from school as their strength deteriorated, Yan will always retain the instrumental influence that his grandparents brought to his childhood.Maybe
“You can always learn something from anywhere,” Yan recalled. “You can learn something by observing your surroundings. You can be taught by kids, and grown ups alike.”
Sixth grade student Grant Matthews and his older brother in eighth grade, Reid live with their grandmother, McGee. After her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s seven years ago, McGee moved in with her children and grandchildren.
“I get to be part of their baseball games, and go to church together, and more,” McGee said. I’m more of a part of the family.”
McGee says watching her grandchildren grow up has been bittersweet. While they’ve shared seven years of memories and traditions, McGee’s watched a similar story decades prior with her own children.
While living in the same house has bonded McGee shares with her grandchildren, it’s the traditions that strengthen those bonds. Whether it’s enjoying Spanish cuisine or playing music, various traditions like those bring them closer together.
“Traditions that we do that really unite us as a family and as grandchildren and grandparents,” Matthews said. “That’s really special, because some people don’t have the time or just can’t be able to see their grandparents as much.”
“I’m able to compare my children, their parents, (and the) things that they did that are very similar,” McGee said. “Now, I see it through their children, doing the same thing that their mom and dad did when they were little.”
McGee has been a crucial part of her grandchildren’s childhood. They’ve watched their cousin compete professionally in track. McGee has watched their golf tournaments and choir performances. But she’ll never be another parent.
“The hard part is that I can observe, but understand, that I had to learn “hands off,” McGee said. “It’s mom and dad who set the rules and stuff. And that was the hardest part, in loving them and respecting them, I had to step back more.”
Instead of the ten hour drive or connecting flights, Grant and Reid Matthews are usually only a couple rooms apart from their grandmother.
“She’s always there to call and she can make you food, or you can just talk to her and stuff. She’s a pretty nice, getaway person to talk to,” Grant Matthews said.
McGee’s relationship with her grandchildren has evolved and will continue to evolve over the years. As each new year brings thousands of memories, Grant and Reid Matthews hope that priceless moments in their childhood never fade away.
“In 20 years, who knows. She might not be here, or hopefully in God, she will be here. But when I look back, I would probably be thankful for the opportunities that I had with her,” Matthews said.
